The new by-laws for Malew parish, approved by Tynwald this week, will prohibit singing, swearing or making a loud noise in the streets of Ballasalla, letting off a stink bomb and even 'loitering at a church door'.

Children will be banned from playing 'dangerous games' on land adjoining the street or using roller skates or skateboards so as to cause 'danger, nuisance or obstruction' to pedestrians or traffic.

Neither can anyone provide a contraceptive machine without the written consent of the town hall.

Breaches of the new by-laws could land the offender with a fine of up to £2,500.

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DO YOU LIVE IN MALEW? ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THE NEW BY-LAWS?
Send your comments to newsviews@newsiom.co.im

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Brenda Cannell (Douglas East) said: 'This stuff seems to be going back to the Dark Ages. I'm just glad I live in Douglas East!'

'So do we!' was the teasing rejoinder from Graham Cregeen (Malew and Santon).

Mrs Cannell queried what would constitute a 'dangerous' game and wondered whether an aggrieved bride-to-be deliberately keeping her fiance waiting could infringe the by-law banning 'loitering at a church door'.

The theme was taken up by Speaker Steve Rodan who questioned the by-law about letting off of stink bombs.

'This is certainly a very extensive range of by-laws,' he said.

David Quirk (Onchan) described the proposed powers as 'overkill'.

Calling for DLGE Minister John Shimmin to withdraw the motion, Quintin Gill (Rushen) said: 'This really does make me laugh. It undermines the credibility of local authorities. I don't recognise the place that needs to be tidied up by the new sheriff in the town!'

He said he had been guilty himself of making a loud noise in public – at the Albert in Port St Mary – when Everton put in a third goal against Liverpool.

But Mr Shimmin refused to withdraw the motion and pointed out that Malew Commissioners, 'whether right or wrong', clearly believed the by-laws were appropriate for the area.

The by-laws were approved by Tynwald by 14 votes to five in the House of Keys and five votes to two in the Legislative Council.

SHOULD THE BY-LAWS BE EXTENDED THROUGHOUT THE ISLE OF MAN?
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YOUR COMMENTS

Idiots, idiots, idiots. I repeat what I said the other day about the horse nappies, Manx politics are a mess and too many of the practitioners are worrying, incompetent imbeciles on a power trip. This just adds more fuel to the fire that is my argument! Have Malew Council suddenly turned Puritan? I believe that there are already laws against public drunkenness (which I believe is the point, however flimsy, of this idiocy) which are already well enforced. I want to know how anyone will be able to enforce these proposals. For starters, what qualifies as loud? The airport's going to be up a certain creek without a certain implement, isn't it! As for stopping kids playing, WTF!? How many kids do you know that play on a main road (the cynic in me says none, because they're probably now deceased from doing so, but anyway!)? How many kids do you know that are allowed to play anywhere near a main road? And I've got news for you, a garden next to the road is land adjoining the street. Private land. For the legal occupier to do with as they wish (within reason). If the legal occupier allows their kids to play on their garden are they suddenly going to be frogmarched down to the cop shop? Pathetic! And finally, on the issue of the contraceptive machines… What a good idea! I think the council should take them down just to see what happens! It's a good message they're sending out isn't it! Really! "Get drunk and fornicate without protection!" A good plan with no major drawbacks! I assumed that anybody caught contravening these rules would be tried by ordeal before being dunked, mutilated and burnt as a witch, rather than have to pay a fine of £2500… Malew Parish Commissioners must be really, REALLY skint if they're resorting to this drivel to raise money. What have they spent the rates money on? Why do we keep voting for these morons? Please, everyone (oxygen thieving commissioners included) WAKE UP TO REALITY AND A BIT OF COMMON SENSE!!!
SS

I have never heard so much rubbish,what next lets tie the kids up and gag them,kids have been playing in the streets since there have been streets to play in,if people want them off the streets give them somewhere to go and something to do,after all what is on the island for teenagers? nothing a big fat nothing, I have teenagers and all there seems to be is swimming or the cinema no wonder they are playing in the street there is nothing else for them to entertain themselves.instead of banning them from from the streets or any of that mentioned why not put as much effort in to finding something constructive for them,try asking them what they would like to have do a survey see what the kids want, after all they to have a voice and need to be heard.
MOE

I propose that we all go to Ballasalla and stand in the street (on roller skates and skateboards) and sing the National Anthem. Or possibly hold the Islands first international Mime contest there – provided that they stay away from churches. Are they going to arrest people who drive large noisy vehicles through the town? What about the person who curses after dropping their keys or stubbing their toe on the pavement? Will you get a criminal record for singing – imagine losing your job because of that! I can't wait to see what happens in Hop Tu Naa and Christmas
KM

Be thankful the kids aren't in the street with knives and weapons! This is the most stupidest thing ive read all this year! That along with the horse nappies! Have our MHK's and Government got nothing else better to worry about? Like the growing drug problem across the Island??? Or louts in pubs that should be banned for life? If they are so bothered about the noise, build the poor kids a community centre! What do we pay taxes for!
LK

About time too we are almost overrun with contraceptive machines. Keep up the good work.
ND

So no more bonfire night or hop tu na. To noisy eh? No more planes into or out of the air port, No more trucks on the road, lets close down Balthane I know lets not build a new round-a-bout at Douglas lets build a bye-pass around Ballasalla Then they might be happy. LETS COME BACK TO THE REAL WORLD This is like a sketch from lee Evans
CONCERNED READER

Mr Shimmin hasn't gone nearly far enough. What about deporting any people caught stealing loaves to Chicken Rock?
DC

Im sorry, I used to live in Ballasalla from birth up until I was 16, I think this new law is a joke, you may as-well lock down the town, or ban all children from leaving there homes unless attending school, I cannot believe that Tynwald have passed this law through, its all most as if they can't be bothered to say no, This is just another example of the government's lack of interest into helping young children progress into adulthood. When I was growing up in Ballasalla there wasn't anything interesting to do, I found it hard to do anything outside because the facilities were not there, I would have thought that in 16 years this would have been addressed by now, instead of thinking up ways to discourage children from going outside.
LOUIE JENNINGS

Hi: Re all the fuss over Malews' bye-laws has any of those making comments about this story, looked at the bye-laws for Douglas they are excatly the same word for word, the only difference being that, Malews' have been approved by Tynwald, and Douglas haven't brought there's out in the open, but they are all available on the corporations' website. Maybe some Douglas MHKs would like to look.
EP

You ask the question should these rules apply to the rest of the island? THEY DO! If you go to the following page http://www.douglas.gov.im/shownews.asp?ID=2734 you can see that Douglas is under the exact same rules!
For example the following rules have been taken from Douglas 2007 Bylaws that can be read by all: (a) play upon or sound any musical or noisy instrument, or (b) sing or shout, or (c) operate or permit to be operated, any radio, amplifier, compact disc player or other similar device, or (d) otherwise make any noise, And: (1) No person shall (a) play football or any other ball game, (b) ride a pedal cycle or skate, slide or ride on rollers, skateboards or other self-propelled vehicles (details of which are also listed there) Hmm, and what was the comment made about late Brides? It seems she can't do it in Douglas either!
9. Loitering at church doors No person shall loiter at or near the entrance of any church, chapel or other place of public worship in such a manner as to cause obstruction or give reasonable grounds for annoyance to persons going to or from the church, chapel or place of worship. And as for condoms: 12. Sale of contraceptives No person shall make any contraceptive accessible or available to persons in a street, from a vending machine, without the written consent of the local authority. And before you ask no you can't let of stink bombs either! Just because Ballasalla made the rules easy for every one to access doesn't give any one the write to teat the area as the local joke! You may want to inform Brenda Cannell that Douglas East has exactly the same rules so living there make no difference to living in Ballasalla!Now you have been shown the other side of the story maybe you could print it for all those who have poked fun at Ballasalla so we can have a good laugh at them!
Ms VF.